A long time ago in days of yore
In a place that probably exists no more
There was a thing that would have impressed for sure:
Garbage men went from door to door
And swept your sticky stuff off the floor

Now there was one worker of the bins
Who did that and this and other things
But the other things weren’t good or right
And with his garbage he’d disappear at night
To do things of considerable fright

Because his mind was of the evil kind,
And they called him –

Dr. Garbagestein

Dr. Garbagestein a scientist was he
(Or at least he used to be)
But in his title there is much fakery
Because he cheated at his degree
And this caused him much mockery

You see the only thing he ever achieved
Was bringing back to life a mouse for which he grieved
But if you had been there you wouldn’t have believed
Because he just pulled a new one out of his sleeve

However his degree was not in vain
There was some knowledge that he did gain
And in secret he made monsters
From the slime inside his drains
And he was about to do it once again
Even if it caused him pains

But the garbage smell must have affected his brain
And he began to make a monster
Of which I will explain

The monster he was made from the stinkiest garbage bits
And he could melt a person with the stench form his armpits
But the description is for later, first you need the gist
So I shall name the components here in a stinky garbage list;

First there came the banana peels
Followed by some jellied eels
(All rotten of course you could tell by the feel)
Mixed with some sweaty socks
Not to mention cuckoo clocks
And brooms with bristles no longer there
A few bags full of barbershop hair
An umbrella with holes past repair
The doctor’s underpants would also make the mix
(Just to see them would make you sick)
And then there was the final trick
A few computers to make him slick

So there it is, the things that made the monster grim
His master hoped he would obey him
But now of more important things to tell
How when finished he did look and my how he did smell!

His appearance was horrific in a weird kind of way
Like when you find those Brussels sprouts
You thought you threw away
A walking garbage can he was
Leaking stinking garbage spray
The town’s people didn’t know whether to scream or spew,
But here is what they’d say;

“A monster with an umbrella nose, that lets rain in too far
Not to mention the record deck eyes, it’s really quite bizarre”

“Yes and look at his patchy hair; ginger, blond and brown
Ha! See that silly banana skin, he wears it like a crown”

“His arms they are so skinny
Made from beat-up, broken brooms
He’s not even any good
For sweeping up our rooms”

“Yes I concur, it’s laughable, he really is quite dumb
He’s even got a cuckoo clock sticking out his bum”

And so the floors where saved from
The rain that they call puking
But instead, although it hurt his feelings
Everyone was joking

Streaming tears of stink he ran away to stay
In an old junkyard that he found upon his way
Where he could hide and make up his mind
How he would revenge Dr. Garbagestein

During this time Dr. Garbagestein was weeping
“Where’s my monster, my floor needs sweeping”
For a long time he sat on his mucky floor
When there came a knocking at the door
A message for the doctor, just a line:
Be at the junkyard for ten to nine.

Mysterious this is he thought
Could this be the monster that I have sought?

The doctor went at the chosen hour
When from the darkness there came a glower
And a stink, and a whirring, and a little cuckoo
And a “doctor I have been looking for you”

With his bare brush hands he lifted the doctor
And every sound was hushed
Because with the aid of some rusty contraption
The poor old doctor was crushed

The monster was triumphant, the doctor defeated
To his old house the creation retreated
And whe he got there he found he was in luck
Because the doctor’s old house
Was completely filled with muck

And so a conclusion can be drawn,
As the monster set the doctor
Like a stone upon his lawn,
That he had been out of line
And this is how he got the name –

Dr. Garbagestein.

Dr Garbagestein - A long funny poem about a binman who went a bit mad.